Resting in Truth
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 5:11:28
I have been on a 5 month rest from working a normal 8-5 job. My husband and I moved across the country from the west coast to the east coast and when we left I had a job lined up and a plan. When we moved God had opened every door and we saw nothing but green lights to take the leap of faith and go for it. Along the route here things changed! My husband got promoted before he even started his job and a major road closure led me to the conclusion that the job I was going to take wasn’t a good fit and we decided to allow me time to focus on school and not go back to work right away. Through this journey I thought God was working with me on rest. On the west coast I worked a day job, went to school online, served in church, participated in my kids activities, was in a small group, had a small jewelry business, and spent time with women in recovery. That’s a pretty full and busy life! The journey to a new state, living in a very small mountain town, no job, new church, and no solid friendships, I have had plenty of time for rest, and have become restless!
My restless mind began to focus on what I don’t have and FEAR started to creep in about not having material things, worry about income, being uncomfortable with being too still and alone. As an alcoholic being alone with your thoughts, letting fear and emotions are very dangerous. The reminders of being isolated and the friend that alcohol used to be kept creeping in. 991 days into recovery, I began to feel like I did in the beginning of recovery looking at my own strength and tools. I rushed to an AA meeting because that was the tool that I needed at the time and on the way there was praying God reveal to me what I am not seeing, bring me out of denial!
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
I have realized that my time of rest isn’t about physical rest or labor, but resting my mind from worry and trusting in God’s truth. He is using this time in my life to rest in his word, his truth, and his promises. He doesn’t promise that it will be easy but that he will never leave me nor forsake me. I needed to turn my eyes away from myself, my situation, and turn them towards him. I do pray that he opens up a door for me to get back to work and meet new people and have new experiences, but I trust that will happen in his time, when he feels I am ready. But I know I am not alone and the feeling of loneliness is coming from focusing on what I don’t have and not at what I do have. I do have blessings upon blessing and comfort because I know I can surrender my worry, and fear to the One who has the POWER to fix and control the things I cannot.
Do you struggle with letting go and letting God guide your path? His words are truth, and can be trusted if you believe them. Spend time with Him for comfort, because He has the answers you are looking for. He is the Answer I was looking for, and was right there with me the whole time. Today I celebrate day 997 days of freedom, one day at a time!
“Seek first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
